Supporting a teenager who's shutting down

When your once-chatty child starts closing their door — literally and emotionally — it can feel like grief. You want to reach them, but every question seems to push them further away.

Presence over pressure

Teens often open up sideways, not head-on. The car, the kitchen, a late-night snack — connection tends to arrive in low-pressure moments, not in a sit-down "let's talk."

• Be available without hovering.
• Lead with curiosity, not correction.
• Let small conversations be enough; they add up.

Their silence isn't rejection of you

Shutting down is often a sign of overwhelm, not defiance. Underneath it is usually a young person working very hard to manage feelings they don't yet have words for.

And if things feel stuck, a calm, neutral space of their own — somewhere that's theirs, not yours — can help them find those words. That's often where we come in.